Police Checks For IVF Patients In Vic

In the news today the Victorian government have announced that Police checks for IVF patients are now mandatory. The countries “top IVF experts” have condemned the move, and looking around at opinions online it seems that many people are agreed, I, on the other hand, am completely torn.

I have no personal experience with IVF, but in the Mother’s group I’ve been part of since Declan was conceived, more than half have struggled with infertility issues, and I have seen many IVF journeys over the last three years that we’ve been together. IVF is already a traumatic enough procedure, it takes a toll on a mother’s body, on both of the parents mental state and of course financially. Adding yet another step in the road on an already difficult ride is just making matters worse. I also feel that if the counseling and interviews that are required when going through treatment should be able to weed out anyone that isn’t suitable as a parent. Lets not also forget that police checks (at least when I had mine) have a six week turn around time on average. Six weeks may not be an age, but when you’re waiting on a piece of paper so that someone can allow you to start a family, it can certainly seem like one. There’s also a question of where the line should be drawn. If you’re requiring police checks for an embryo transfer, what about the woman who can’t concieve without Clomid? Should those parents have to go through the same checks before she’s given the prescription?

But then imagine if out of all the IVF treatments that one clinic preforms, imagine if five, even ten years down the track, one or both of the parents are found to be abusive. This child that has been artificially created by that clinic has been suffering at the hands of their parent, and if a background check had been done at the time of conception it would have been discovered that one of the parents had previously been charged with child abuse. How are the staff at that clinic supposed to feel knowing that they had aided a child coming into this world to live that life, and knowing that with one check the
parents could have been deemed unsafe and that child would have never have been born to see that life.

No we don’t have police checks for parents to be when the child is conceived naturally. I wish we could. The only way I could ever see that working is to automatically run a police check on both parents when a birth is registered, highlighting any dangers that would then allow authorities and DOCs to keep a closer eye on the family. Unfortunately as we’ve seen in all of the horrendous child abuse cases that have slipped under the radar lately, DOCs is already overstretched and under funded as it is.

It’s invasive and it’s discriminatory, but if it saves one child from suffering, then to me it’s worth it.

Yellow Car V2.0

Declan’s previous yellow car came to an unfortunate end a couple of weeks ago, and we’ve been promising to get him a new one ever since. The old yellow car was a sweet soft top V8 with racing stripes, this one… isn’t. Turns out he isn’t a car snob just yet, as far as he’s concerned it’s yellow and a car and that’s all the matters.

In Loving Memory Of My Fruit Loop

Everyone knows that, unless you’re Katie Holmes, Kate Hudson or Jennifer Garner, or any of the other stars with a million dietitians, physical trainers and yogis working on you, once you pop out a sprog there is no going back to your previous body. Your arse is automatically bigger, your boobs are heading towards your belly button and your gut is a flap of skin that you have to lift out of the way if you ever get the spare time to do some downstairs maintenance and tend to your bits.

Of course, no one likes to bring up the topic of post-partum girly bits, whereas it’s not that big a deal to mention around the family table that after your first baby you struggled to get back into shape, it’s more than a slight faux pax to announce just to what extent pushing five kilos of baby out of your fruit loop does to your vag. The conversations are barely whispers around the world, and only with your closest friends or your gyno. Sure, your vulva may not be the prettiest body part, but childbirth certainly doesn’t help its cause at all.

Now I’m taking it back. My first birth, due to a combination of a baby ridiculously eager to get out, it being my midwife’s first EVER delivery and my son having a head similar in cicumfrance to a beach ball, lead to a five way tear ranging between 2nd and 3rd degree. As the doctor stitched me up she cheerfully remarked that tears tears made my vagina look like an upside down starfish. Just what I always wanted!!! It’s now getting on for three years and one completely tear free birth later, and I’m still having “issues” relating to the exit of my son.

One of these will destroy your vag, the other will destroy the couch, pick wisely.

I’m not here to scare people off having children, or giving birth vaginally, I would have exactly that same torturous birth over a c-section anyday, but somebody needs to come out and say just how traumatic it can be. Let the people like me with the completely butchered snatches be able to talk about them just as other mothers compare their stretch marks and boob growth. I’m sure I’m not alone in this, billions of other women have given birth, but no one ever mentions this part of it, and it’s about time someone did. I’m taking it back, putting it out there and possibly even use the sentiment to develop and new line of Mother’s day cards, Dear Mum, Thank you for being so loving, caring, and I’m sorry I fucked up your Vag.