My friend, Tamsyn, is scheduled to have her first baby on Tuesday. It’s been awesome reading her blog and bringing back all of the feelings I had whilst pregnant with Declan. Her last weekend of being without a small being dependent on her for his every need has got me thinking about my life before kids, and what I wish I had taken advantage of whilst I didn’t have children.
Back when we were young & beautiful!
1. Gone to the cinema: This is our number one regret as a couple, we used to go every fortnight or so to see a movie, and it’s something I miss terribly. It’s not that we can’t go to the cinema, it’s just that it now it’s a huge production with many players. We have to arrange a time to go, arrange my mother in law to babysit BOTH children (Connor isn’t an issue, Declan is a whole other ballgame), prepare the kids, pack up toys and snacks, listen to Declan screaming as we leave and this is all before we’ve actually agreed on a movie. Before we would go out to lunch, drive past the cinema and decide on the spur of the moment to go and catch whatever film was on next. Of course I can also rejoice in how much money this is saving us, last time we went to the cinema it cost us $40!
2. Indulged In My Hobbies: This one is a little different, I’m very lucky in that Dan is more than happy to watch the kids whilst I indulge in sewing, but I long for a day when I can sit down in the morning with an idea in my head and spend ten solid hours bashing it out on the sewing machine. Everything is done in bits and pieces now, what would have previously taken a day now takes a week or even two. I can get some stuff done in the evening assuming everyone is in bed in a timely manner, but my creative brain works better in the early morning for some reason. Unfortunately, Declan was my reason for learning to sew, so I only got a month of uninterrupted sewing before he came along.
3. Eaten Hot meals: Like most mothers I have adjusted to lukewarm food and drink. We eat about half our dinners as a family around the table, and the other half I cook for the kids and then cook for Dan and I when they’re in bed. Family meals are spent fussing over who wants what, replacing Declan’s green fork with a pink one to avoid the breakdown and telling Connor off for throwing food at the wall. Meals with just Dan rarely go without being interrupted by Declan coming out of his bedroom with various requests or Connor deciding that sleep is for the weak. Although they’re more regular than they were during the newborn stage (try breastfeeding whilst eating Honey Mustard Chicken!) those hot fresh-out-of-the-pan meals are still far and few between!
4. Had wild monkey sex: I’m sure you know the kind, the kind of shag that pisses off the neighbours. Similar to the cinema trips, sex is a huge production: Both kids asleep? Check. Total silence to ensure things stay this way? Check. Suitable position to navigate around the gigantic pregnant belly? Check. Complete lack of enthusiasm and spontaneity? Check!
5. Enjoyed the floor: I promise this isn’t related to point four – perverts. Not until you’ve stepped on a Duplo brick in the middle of the night, tripped over the Corn Popper and taken your shin out on a Tonka Truck will you truly understand this one. I haven’t seen my lounge room floor in three years. I can spend 3 hours cleaning it all up only to walk into the kitchen for a drink and return to find it covered once again. On those odd occasions that I do manage to get the floor free of toys I roll about on the carpet like a cat in heat, right up until a stray lego that’s leaped out of the toybox jams itself into my shoulder.
I love the kids, I love the change that they have brought in me and my life, but every so often I wish this whole Mum job had better holiday benefits. Just give me a week off with movies, wild sex, hot food (and cold cider) a quilting bee and clean floors and I will be a happy woman.
What’s your advice for Tamsyn, what should she spend her last couple of days enjoying?
Oh Fern I totally understand all of this! I miss these things too!
I also miss the ability to just chill out for 30 mins when I need to. The ability to eat dinner before 8.30pm (I’m all conditioned now and look at my parents and say “6pm? Isnt that a bit EARLY for dinner!!!????”).
Sleep ins on the weekend! I used to be a -1pm in the afternoon, roll out of bed (after wild sex, of course) and then schmooze around in my PJs for the rest of the day- kind of girl! Not anymore, now 6.30am is a luxury!
I totally agree about the movies and the sewing. I also desperately want to go swimming by myself. So much that I paid $70 to a childcare centre to mind baby for two hours so I could, damn expensive swim!! I was never a big pub person, but I would just like to know that I could actually go if I wanted to.
Most of the things I want will sort themselves out when Mr Accident gets home, hopefully.
Swimming! Why didn’t I think of that? I would love to go and take a swim in the pool, particularly on days like today. It would be fine if I drove, but as I don’t it means lugging the entire family out just to drop me off (and then of course D’s tears when he realises I’m going somewhere and he isn’t). Swimming sounds wonderful right now.
Thanks for all your suggestions ladies, nice to know I’m not alone!
Eating her own meal without anyone staring at her like a seagull screeching MINE! I haven’t gotten to eat a meal without sharing in 3 years.
This is a good list! We’re planning on getting preggers sometime next year, so I will definitely take heed and enjoy the things I take for granted now.
.-= Mikaela´s last blog ..Daily Photo – xmas lights =-.
For me? I miss simply sitting down on the sofa, with a good magazine and a cup of tea. No interruptions, no noise, no breadcrumbs on the couch, no ‘general debris’ everywhere.
.-= NessWorld Magazine´s last blog ..WAHMs: Pop Quiz Hotshot, What do You Do? =-.