Feb
Robyn Jade
I keep on trying to write this post, and it’s either too short and clinical, or too long and I can’t emotionally bring myself to finish it.
Our very unexpected baby died in utero in the early hours of the morning on February the 19th, at spot on 36 weeks gestation. I was induced that afternoon and delivered a baby girl weighing 6lbs 13oz and 50cm long at 3:15pm. We named her Robyn.
There’s currently no rhyme or reason for what happened, although initial testing did pick up an infection in the placenta, it’s too early to determine if that is the cause, we have an appointment on the 16th of April to hear the full post mortem results.
It’s now been just over a week and both Dan and I have run through every emotion you could possibly imagine. I am focusing on the positives, I already have two beautiful sons, we’re lucky enough to not have any fertility issues, and I have my health (physical at least, mental is still up for debate).
The funeral is on Monday afternoon. I’m both dreading it and looking forward to the closure that I hope it might begin to give us. I’m still in shock more than anything, this just wasn’t something I was prepared for in any way.
The next few months will probably be talking about what’s happened a fair bit, I also want to write up a birth story, and, when I feel able enough to move them off the camera, I will be posting some photos of her. I know this is a sensitive topic, so I wanted to give some prior warning so that those who felt too uncomfortable could avoid the blog for a while, or take me off their reader.
27Feb
Talk. I will listen and I will hold your virtual hand and I will sit here and let you vent or rant or cry.
I am thinking of you all, often.
27Feb
ditto to what Veronica said.
Yeah, there will be some that cannot deal – through experience or whatever – but I will be here.
27Feb
I too am thinking of you often.
You have to say and do whatever you need to. We will be here for you. xx
Sharnee´s last blog ..bleh, so tired
27Feb
Oh Fern. I don’t know what to say except I’ll be here.
I am so very sorry.
♥
27Feb
Oh Fern … not a day has gone by since February 19th where I haven’t thought of you and prayed that somehow you heart would begin the healing process. The day after learned of Robyn’s untimely death another friend of mine began losing her son to terminal brain cancer. He passed yesterday and his funeral will be on Monday as well. The same day as your sweet Robyn. Never in a million years will I be able to understand why these things happen. Why mothers have to bury their children. It’s just beyond anything I can see or feel. My heart is just breaking for you in a million ways. I’m here for you to listen anytime you want to talk about your sweet baby girl. xoxo
27Feb
I agree with everyone else and when you’re ready to talk I’ll be here too. I do think that what you have so far written about Robyn has come across in such a beautiful manner. xx
27Feb
Oh, Fern….I’m so sorry. I can’t even imagine what you guys are going through. This is so sad.
I’ll be keeping you in my thoughts and I hope the funeral helps to bring you closure. *hugs*
Michelle´s last blog ..Isaac
27Feb
I admire so much that even in time of such immense loss, that you are thinking of others. Take care of yourself.
PlanningQueen´s last blog ..Finger Food For Toddlers