Today I made bunnies for Declan and Conman.
We went to the playground with the boys. I watched the families around us, the brothers and sisters interacting with one another, I got jealous of the large families, which quickly turned to bitterness as I sat there and tried to work out what I’d done wrong and those parents had done right.
Was it because I slept on my back? Or when I climbed up a ladder during my second trimester? Were the Wasabi cravings in the first trimester the reason for it all?
I just wish there was a way of knowing why I’m only making two bunnies for Easter instead of three.
Eighteen days till the autopsy results… time is going so slowly. I so badly want it to get here so I can get some reasons, some closure, but at the same time I don’t want the day to arrive, just in case they don’t have any answers for me.
We still haven’t picked up her ashes.
ohh sweetie. Geez I hope you get some answers from the autopsy results. The not-knowing is so bad.
.-= Toni´s last blog ..a Compendium of AWESOMENESS =-.
I am so hoping that you get some answers.
We didn’t get any definitive answers from our autopsy or gentic testing. However, we were able to come to a peaceful place with that. I did discover some things pertaining to my own health that have been somewhat helpful in managing this subsequent pregnancy so far. As well, we have been under frequent monitoring by my OB (who also suffered a late loss herself with her 3rd pregnancy but went on to have a healthy baby in her 4th pregnancy) and my high-risk OB. I suppose sometimes it is just an isolated incident and I had to come to terms with that…it hasn’t been an easy journey though.
Praying for the answers that provide you peace and/or direction for your future…and know if those answers don’t come in the form you expect them, you will be able to navigate that as well. You are a mother and that strength is beyond words.
.-= Tootertotz´s last blog ..One of my rougher nights =-.
I hope they have answers for you. I hope so bad.
I hate not having answers. I hope that you get them :\
Cool bunnehs!
.-= Fiona´s last blog ..Okay, Colgate, Explain this one… =-.
Beautiful bunnies.
You know, there may not be answers. It may just be.
And one day you will be OK with that. I promise. Not today. Not tomorrow. But one day.
I hope with all my heart you get answers Fern